do you think i can make that microwavable cake stuff with vodka instead of water?
you should probably use water
i dont have any
I think a girl in front of me glued an ugg tag to a weird pair of boots.
I bought the love spell lotion from victoria secret so it atleast smells like a girl is present while I'm masturbating
God gave me these boobs for a reason other than for people to throw things down them.
I think it was the chocolate body paint and awesome blowjob that finally made us official.
Do they take checks?
Did you really just ask me if you could write a check for a DRUG DEAL?
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
I had to step in when you tried to make it rain baking powder on my sister
I drunken agreed to go wedding dress shopping with a stranger at the bar yesterday. She sent me an email asking what days I am free.
I just want to let it be known that I almost put my phone in the fridge.
Thats alot of pressure.
Just on your vagina. BTW I'm passing your house.
In fairness you've introduced me to a lot of people I've only met once, for like 5 seconds, while drunk
All I wanted was a couple of orgasms before work, is that too much to ask?!
What's rude is him not accepting my blowjob offer. What kind of guy denies that.
Told a guy at the bar I was hurricane evacuees with no place to stay. Just woke up at his place. God bless Florence
Randomize
