Guess what? I had way too much to drink today. I'm properly wasted. Doing chores and playing video games while drunk. It's the nexus of stupidity and responsibility.
You said I was the most beatiful preggers youve ever seen...im not pregnant
My own vomit just splashed me in the face. How's your day going
successfully started a charcoal grill with 2 shots of everclear and some aluminum foil. i never wanna leave here
At least they aren't charging us for the broken diving board...
So recap time do u remember biting that girls hand?
she's just sitting here eating cilantro out of my herb garden and watching some show about ducks on tv and laughing, what the fuck did you give her?
I have a breathe right strip stuck to my forehead, several inexplicable bruises and I think someone tried to paint my nails with glue, but I still have my Santa hat. I'm gonna call this one a success.
I fail to see the problem of enjoying a glass of wine while I poop...
the point I'm tryimg to make is that you didn't need to take the whole box in with you
That's not fair! You can't come over after you just had sex and rub my dry spell in my face!
I'll miss you, too. On the bright side, a night away from one another might give me a chance to recup seminal fluids.
I also woke up in a guys bed in a Reptar shirt yesterday morning staring at a movie theater sized poster of the not as popular Air Bud franchise movie Super Buddies.
I tried to think of the best possible thing I could do for my 30th birthday, and the finalist is "get a clit ring"
I FOUND A VIBRATOR IN MY BABY BROTHERS ROOM. IM FREAKIN OUT MAN ITS BIGGER THEN MINE
put it back and chill out ok
NO FUCK HES 15 WHO EVEN SOLD HIM THAT HES A BABY
I had a date last night. His dog threw up in his bed while we were having sex in it.
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