so, i drunkenly called my religious roomie because i was lost and told her if she couldn't come find me, jesus would condemn her to hell for not leading me to the light .. too much?
I hope, cuz I was gunna get "celebritory drunk" but now I have to get "I'm disappointed drunk"
Just put the gallon of milk in the microwave. Dad might know im high.
well someone pooped in the lint basket in the laundry room last night, but none of us will admit to it so we're all just secretly judging each other and doubting ourselves.
Last awkward moment of 2011: your ex gf grinding on me in front of her husband.
Kristy just reminded me that I have a bottle of champagne to lick off your ass hole...... This is by way of saying that we have plans on Friday.
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
I look like I just got gang banged and I'm wearing a Taylor swift t shirt. It's not gonna be a pretty breakfast.
Can you rollerblade?
No, why?
Honestly, I was high and picturing us roller blading together. I wanted to see if I could make my dreams a reality.
Nothing more awkward that being butt ass naked in a guys bed and his ex wife shows up with his kid....
All that stuff they told us in middle school about drugs being easy to find was a bullshit lie.
she is legit trying to fuck me to death between her and work i haven't slept in 3 days and have at least 16 hours to go before sleep is a possibility. can i crash at your place she doesnt know where you live
Taking a shot every time the Russian in COD says vodka... BEST drinking game ever.
Everyone has seen your nipples. It's like asking if they ever walked on grass. You need better hangover questions.
I can't talk, I can't walk, I think I'm twitching and I'm not even sure if I'm typing this. Help
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