i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
He had a beer bottle in each of his back pockets and was on rollerblades. All I remember is following him for about 10 minutes
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawnmower thinking of you
He ate me out on the balcony. My asian neighbors cats are judging me...ALL 3 OF THEM!!
3pm strippers are depressing
Atlanta road trip update. Jimmy fell into the petting tank at the aquarium. And freaked out. With cops now... Keep you posted
If he survived pride he can survive a gay bar
Can you bring me a corn dog or something shaped like one?
no we have a special triathlon I'm entering us in. drinking, fucking, and sleeping. I think we have a good shot.
Banging to Billy Joel pandora is like russian roulette. But I made him cum to Let It Be so I we both walked away victors
#tbt to when you let me put plastic wrap on your balls and hum a little song
So I'm at home coloring while smoking a joint. It can only go down hill from here.
Just used the pen i got in my signing ceremony to pack down my bowl. coach would be proud
You know what would have been funny if we got arrested last night? The inventory search of the lock box:\n\nContents:\n1 work ID\n1 33 round Glock magazine\n1 set of keys\n1 vibrator\n2 bags fruit snacks\n1 parking hang tag
Wait... why were you finger painting at one in the morning?
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