I hope you're ready because I look like an elf on crack had a baby in the medieval era and that baby grew up to be a whore
whenever I think of his sister, I just picture a chick with a huge beard
i really wish someone from a royal background would fuck me so i could literally say i was 'royally fucked'.
We should see who can shotgun a beer faster over iPhone FaceTime
my shower just felt like jesus cried on me. like he shed tears just for my shower.
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
You just sent me a picture of a federal crime. Like. You don't give a fuck.
I found him passed out against a dryer in the girls washroom, in front of an old woman was trying to figure out how to dry her hands.
dude this night sums up my single life. naked, crying, and covered in honey. i need to get laid.
Some guy just drank alcohol from me shoe..I think he's had enough..
Just threw up in the MSO airport men's room. We're at that point this morning.
Also I found and fixed my beer gun.
I feel as if some line has been crossed, but only in this vague, WTF sort of way.
How can i make it up 2 u?
DREW I AM SMOKING POT AND FUCKING. WE CANNOT DISCUSS THIS AT THIS PARTICULAR JUNCTURE.
Let the healthy eats/juice cleanse begin. Today is day 1
Have you cleansed yourself of the boy yet?
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