? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
If facebook stalking was a job I would totally pown it
Im not sure if he just tripped or was star gazing, but i gave him head anyway.
i cant believe i hit a parked car with a pink dildo in my mouth... fuckin epic
your tears are not going to buy me drinks...
You leave a trail of fuck everywhere you go
I've been very busy/drunk lately... Sorry.
I think you'll appreciae more than anyone that I'm renting my parking spot out for a half gallon of vodka a month.
when you greet her, try not to lead with "this night will end with you on top of me". first impressions, bro.
The best part of that night wasn't even the sex, it was listening to her explain to her boyfriend why she was naked in her room while I hid in her closet.
You have to summon your inner elephant
He got cut off by the bartender. So he kept buying people drinks of they would i get him a drink. Before you know it him and 8 people were outside the bat trying to get people. To by them drinks
No I did not just post a Craigslist ad for a used stripper pole because I can't afford my own. But now that you put the idea in my head I might have to.
I just found a piece of dried shredded carrot on my bed
After this weekend, all I can think about is bald eagles flying in front of fireworks and giving birth to fucking uncle sam. Also, beer.
Randomize
