whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
i have no concept of time, i feel my nose, and im seeing everything in bitty hexagons.
I feel like every car around me knows I'm driving in my snuggie
I'm gonna answer everything she says with 'cum on da face' until she breaks up with me...great idea or greatest idea?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
went for icecream. accidentally deepthroated it. my mom gave me a dirty look, but the kid behind the counter looked impressed
level of my singleness - just ate a whole pizza topless in bed.
Lets go see if some hobos will give us a prostate massage for a 40 ounce.
I'M SO LONELY THAT I TEXTED THE FRESHMAN
TSA literally pulled two bottles of whiskey out of my bag. Once he saw the leopard print socks and the mickey mouse tank, he put it back in my bag and said "Have a fun trip, man."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I watched you down those shots like a lion cub watching its mother rip apart a gazelle
I'm giving head in a stairwell, I'll be back in a few minutes. I'm so ashamed.
This is why I only drink in places with a C or D health rating
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
Love that I’m sending my uber driver a thank you message for taking me home via mcdonalds tonight before I’m messaging my date from tonight! Lol
I'm basically doing the Walk of Shame without the added bonus of having sex last night. That doesn't look good on anyone.
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