I'm at his house. He has VELCRO shoes. I'm too desperate to leave...I may need help in thee life dept
I woke up this morning to the buzzer on my oven going off... I cooked fish sticks at 425 degrees for 5 hours last night. my house smells awesome
just skyped with my friend to listen in on the people talking shit about me in the library. creepy or strategic?
no memory loss, but i'm unhappy with my memories
mom just asked if we are going to need more kaluha as she pulls 5 out of the cupboard. this xmas might kill me
did you by any chance leave me that 7 minute long voicemail of you running and constantly tripping into bushes?
Is 10 pm too early to booty call a freshman?
I have invented a new game to play on campus. It's called "Mormons or Pledges?" It's fantastic.
Hopefully they won't bring up last year's Christmas party. I kind of predicted my great aunt's death...
I was thrusting to the beat of Felix Navidad..
I'm taking the day off so I can get drunk at Whole Foods before noon
That's not the problem. The problem is I thought I was over him but he smells nice today.
How do I tell this guy that if he does not like the condoms at my apartment, he should bring his own without sounding like a sure thing?
Say it's BYOC night at the beach. And, you are a sure thing. Own it.
My conscious state is steadily increasing towards drunkenness.
Where are you guys?
Drunk
Randomize
