As a driver I hate pedestrians, and as a pedestrian I hate drivers, but no matter what the mode of transportation, I always hate cyclists.
I puked last after eating a volcano taco and drinking vodka. I felt like a fucking dragon.
I don't even know what he looks like, all i've seen of him is his dick
the rest of him looks just as crooked
it tasted disgusting. but i pretty much drank it in the name of science, and free alcohol
Im wearing all my glow sticks to bed so i know where my arms are at all times.
You in for a dick vacation?
YES, even though I have no idea what that means
So here's my pathetic thought of the day: what does it smell like to be sober?
Underoos and an IDGAF attitude: all you need to successfully win at life
(Underoos optional)
Dollars spent: $83, Girls kissed: 4, Girls slept with:2, Girls currently making me breakfast: 1, Fucks given: 0
Knowing how to carefully mix my vices has to be the #1 skill I've gotten from pharmacy school
Liquor has joined the party. Aly just fucking yelled "I LOVE COOKING" and poured margarita mixer, ice and tequila into the blender.
He asked if we were going to take advantage of his drunken state. When we said no he tired to show us what we were missing out on. It was so sad it almost made him cute.
Do you think it's a bad sign of the outcome of the pregnancy test I'm about to take that I was eating a fudgsicle on the way into the drugstore? Would it make worse to tell you I also bought a big ass bag of Cornnuts?
I woke up under a house in Key West
So she was amazing, that's what. Idk if it was the blow or the blowjob, but both my heads are still tingling.
Randomize
