If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock.
i sleep in a fine layer of vodka and semen. i don't know that that would appropriate for a pajama rally.
Outside the community dumpsters: beer bottles and a carton of orange juice. Looks like we were here.
two words...techno handjob
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it's official, i know exactly what cross streets we're at by the bumps when i give him road head
And as far as being fat goes I just did like 20 minutes of p90x and now i'm eating frosting out of the container....
He asked if I wanted a dutch rudder. 1.) Who says that? 2.) How exactly does one do that with a girl?
composition of my stomach right now: 60% C8H10N4O2 * H2O (coffee), 20% CaCO3 (pepto bismol/tums), 10% HCl (stomach acid), 5% fried rice, 5% residual adderall. i can do that by percent mass too. fuck you finals.
Not even desperate vagina wants small cock.
Glad to hear you raised your standards
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ill give you a 4 hour blow job if you make my nephew go to bed.
Well at least it wasn't the first time I threw up out of a second story window
Ummm so I'm at the hospital and just heard some guy get tazed......twice.
I just bought a bong from a hot dog stand.
All I remember is while we were making out M.A.A.D City came on so I pushed him off of me so I could rap along.
The coke machine at work is laughing at me. Literally. I just heard laughter from the coke machine
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