But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
Fuck Jersey, the house im in is so baller but this state just cannot win.
I accidentally asked my mom for a blowjob because 'mom' and 'molly' are next to each other in my address book.
for real. he might as well bring dogs if they're lower than a 7.
Just heard one of my friends say, "if you're trying to take advantage of me I really dont care. I just want this beer." ..
remember how i yelled at you for inviting that coke dealer to the party?! i found the $100 bill they were snorting with in the couch.
..new slutty dresses or booze? i won't even waste time with the i told you so.
Well he fell three stories from the balcony and still had the strength to fuck me for 2 hours.
He may not be fully over his current wife yet. But wait until I show him my tits in his office at the end of the day tonight.
Blocking me on Facebook doesn't change the fact that you've had my penis in my mouth. So there's that.
As long as you keep bringing fries home, i'll keep being naked when you get home
He claimed he was the best ass eater of the south. He was right.
This is not a drill. I need a cape. And a tuxedo. Simultaneously. Repeat. NOT. A. DRILL....
Yea he was still drunk. He wore a Toga to his job interview.
How was that girls surprise party last night?
Got absolutely destroyed tried to put somebody's leather jacket on and make out with their mother. You know.. the norm
I’m going to lick a fucking door knob when this shit is all over
Probably Waffle House
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