I woke up naked by my window. blinds open. smiley face drawn on my window.
I just saw a pair of panties stretched over a fire hydrant on campus... I need to get the fuck out of this town
weed salsa. i deserve a nobel prize
i also performed surgery on a chicken burrito from what i can tell from my scissors
Yeah just got a blowjob at busch stadium during the cardinals game childhood dream realized
holy shit thats the most artistic dick pic ever
So fucking hammered. Is this all spelled right? I'm holding it up to my eye. I am on a boulder. I feel like an owl
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
By the way anyone who is willing to be in the film while tripping gets free shrooms.
There's some band that practices next door to my apartment. I'm thinking we may need to check that out. I could be like, "Hey boys, thought you might like some lemonade and vagina."
Ones vagina should not have the same slogan as a can of Pringles.
My apartment looks like the apocalypse of sobriety.
Step 1: Buy a house Step 2: Turn bedroom into sex dungeon
There's lube on my homework. #priorities
sometimes i like to lay one the floor and pretend im a carrot.
Randomize
