it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
okay pat passed out under dana's car
Memo to the bitch sitting across from me at Swamp: no one thinks you're classy with your Louis Vuitton and your Burberry scarf when you're dragging on that cig like it was the last cock on earth and you needed cum for sustenance.
Watching marley and me... this girls got me whipped man
dude...I wrote 15 jersey shore quotes on her body. she is going to do the walk of shame with snookie on her forehead.
I just remembered yelling "they're gonna let me be a lawyer! Me! Why would they do that?"
I'm confused about why you felt the need to ask me to buy you life alert for christmas at 3:28 this morning.
I know its hard to believe that I'm already drunk at 12 p.m. but I am, so dont call me asking to go to the gym.
ttyl tear gas
Stand up sex. Extremely, extremely difficult. I now know how pointe dancers feel.
he could've at least fucked me twice. that's just common courtesy.
Copy that. Decided to shower with a beer in a glass bottle. Gotta stop the bleeding first. Be there is 20
I don't want any of this. I just want big sausages.
I'm sending lingerie pics that I took yesterday. I fully prepared for this holiday
She threw my purse across the room almost broke a lamp and this all started bc she forgot what an air mattress was
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