I think this dress is screaming I want a birthday 3some with two moderately attractive guys. I hope.
I don't get why Lindsay Lohan doesn't just blame her bad behavior on her twin sister from the Parent Trap. I mean nobodys seen her since.
Remember in school when they told us our vag was made just the right size for our future husband? I must say I am enjoying trying to find that perfect fit.
Using your Catholic School education as an excuse for this? Why didn't I think of that?!
He let me keep his flannel as a "good job" for the great head I gave him.
I hear youre working today. To keep you entertained, ive compiled a list of condiments that my dick has NOT been slathered in since last Friday: Relish, and raspberry jam. That's right.
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
Good news: I actually puked in my bathroom, the vomit from the living room was actually from someone else.
That's horrible but hilarious
I'm going to miss college.
I have a half pound of weed, a case of beer, 8 frozen pizzas and a hard dick. You have a high tech super-bong and a chest of sex toys. That's our vacation week right there.
Literally this kid just told me he's not planning to live past 30. Then he hit himself with a frying pan.
I slept with a Brazillian Man, That's why I'm Watching The World Cup
If you ever feel goofy just think of the fact that I just shaved the batman symbol into my pubes
I'm turning into an adult here.
Adults touch each other's special zones.
I think the reason she hasn't text me back is because I spanked her ass with Hulk Hands
He nailed that bed down really well so it won't break again. All I could think while he was nailing it was "challenge accepted".
Ahhh the shame of taking out my recycling
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