Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
Almost accidentally stole a baby... explain later
Putting the hydrocodone in Pez dispensers. Do you want Speedy Gonzales or Darth Vader?
She made out with me for a free sandwich. What makes you think she is NOT up to my standards?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't think he grasps the fact that I would much rather he finish inside me than on my $400 Anthropolgie bedspread
I really am. The stoner chick wants to get a python.
Also, I want you to know, that not only am I apparently the expert on sexting. Our bishop is consulting me later. So my talents are varied.
I think I'm still drunk...I just gave my empty conditioner bottle a break-up speech before I threw it away.
Sorry was covered in semen when you texted me. Just walking back from the Harvard Club
All you needed to say was one of those sentences and the other would've been implied.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My day went from bad to worse when I realized I puked out my second floor window last night.
Taylor Swift needs more songs about threesomes. I'm not sure she gets me anymore.
He literally poured blue Gatorade on me after we had sex and said "good game" all over my white sheets
I love her so much I can forgive her for wearing crocs
It was like Lady and the Tramp, but just tramp and the tramp. And instead of spaghetti and meatballs, we had whiskey and cups
Chaz got drunk and passed out so we superglued a kazoo to his mouth. Listening to him Panic when he woke up was fucking hilarious.
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