Goddamnit I hate your level headedness
I only broke up with her because the ex sex is amazing. She will do ANYTHING if i even hint at getting back together
We tried to get a ride from the same firefigters that were turning off the fire alarm going off at our house.
He leaned in to kiss me and I dodged him but i fell on the floor. I guess I never got up cuz I woke up on the floor and he was in his bed
Topless bubble bath with a lesbian is debatable as a gay experience.
On my way, five mins. Is the line long? Do you think they will they hold a pumpkin at coat check?
I just blocked a guy on grindr for having a little dick. See? I do have standards.
I mean it was fine and all but I just don't understand why a man would need all that Simon Cowell paraphanelia
I am putting together a break up mix and its pretty much the best of Phil Collins
I was dreaming of a parallel reality and in the dream I just looked up at my present self and was like "you're high, man"
just wanted to eat pizza off his dick so he let me and he can never forget it
I'm covered in bite marks and have a cracked rib - was a good weekend
He adjusted my bra straps while I blew him.
We are never doing shots of gin. Never again.
I'm pretty sure that's exactly what we're doing.
Anyhow. He gives me orgasms and cuddles and buys me dinner and alcohol. Ill keep him around and cross that other girl bridge when we get there ha ha
Randomize
