just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
Latest life lesson : don't accidentally send an "I nutted on her tramp stamp" text to your tattoo-less girlfriend. Oops.
It was like little house on the drunk prairie.
dude are you gonna smoke tonight? my day was shit and I wanna get high
worker bees can leave....even drones can fly away....the queen is their slave
nevermind....I'm on the way
Same here... Well I was planning on having some sort of deep conversation, but looking at how grim of an outlook tomorrow has on you, I'll just re-inform you that I have your pants.
We found her hiding in the bath tub.. And when i opened the curtain she replied "thank you" and walked out like nothing happened.
Dude, she gave me a handski that literally felt like she was starting a lawn mower...
You know its going to be a good day when you have to brush your teeth out of a cup in your room using the vodka and water mixture in your fridge because you're locked out of your restroom
I want to be the sort of person he can respect in the morning once the drugs wear off.
i think the last part kind of negates the first part there
Why is there puke in my guitar?
Because you puked in your guitar.
He described his sex dream about me using only emojis
I would not recommend douching while drunk.
Have you ever given your heart and soul to someone and they turn out to be nothing but a great fuck that makes a mean grilled cheese because same
I passed out while searching "symptoms of narcolepsy"...
i haven't seen you in two years and we have like 16 hours, all i want is cuddles, wine, and some light groping
Randomize