If Billy Mays did an infomercial on your dick, it still wouldn't get you laid.
pretty sure i remember announcing that i lost my virginity to that brad paisley song when it came on during power hour?
i wanted to go smoke pot, so i told my mom i was getting tutored. she asked what time i would be back, i told her learning doesn't have a curfew
I really hope I'm not the first person who's had to wash vomit off of cash and credit cards.
you're single. I'm single. let's spend vday with the 3 most important men in our lives: ben, jerry, and josé
She started crying. I don't think she's gotten head from a sax player before.
honestly, i just want you to have sex with him too so that you can fully understand my appreciation of his dick as well.
I wasnt going to have sex with him until i ran into his gf at chipotle. It was like the gods were saying "Go ahead. Shes already had her burrito for the day"
I was standing when I hit it. I barely made it to the couch before the walls started turning into people.
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
The amount of knuckle children I've had to the Farrah Abraham sex tape is disturbing and impressive
This question may sound intrusive, but how did pushing out a baby affect your vagina?
ANNA HAS DISCOVERED EROTIC FANFICTION OF SHARKNADO THIS IS NOT A DRILL
I told him the only reason I'd sleep with him is if we have a threesome because I'll need moral support
90% sure I just sold adderall to my professor
100% proud
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