grandma shit on top of the toilet
I'm torn. Shes everything I ever wanted, but I just cant get past the story about having drunken sex with her dog in high school.
i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
It's like a mixture of two words
"town" and "Im too drunk to spell right now"
Hopefully. Play it cool. Bust out a few jokes. Chew with your mouth closed and show your boobs.
i miss our vodka / percocet laundry days.
I got 87 likes on my changed relationship status. It's official. I'm way more fucking awesome single.
They're mostly guys
Early bird gets the worm.
Someday, but I will be heavily drugged and there will be no dolphins.
Considering how much money I just spent on slutty lingerie, it is totally appropriate for me to be plucking my nipple hair right now. Right?
The bet was for naked jumping jacks. And it back fired, she just laughed at all the slapping noise.
And that facial hair. He might as well shave it so it spells "douche" on one cheek and "nozzle" on the other.
I'm pretty sure NORMAL roommates don't have to hide each others sex toys from their fuck buddies.
He drunk texted me what I think is two snails fucking on a mushroom. Is "you sick bastard" too mild a rejection?
i can believe you didnt get any, i was wing-girling the shit out of him
all you did was repeatedly scream GET IT IN
Why do all my exes just become Tom Hanks in Castaway?
That's a fantastic question. And an odd set of criteria to meet if wanting to date you.
Randomize
