I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
gettin drunk isnt as much fun when i can use my own id for it
I am soup sandwich. I have been at dAnce party
A three fingered guy just showed up with fireworks and bourbon, tonight will be entertaining.
Remember my theory about how the universe perfectly unfolds to fuck me? Well, it's at work right now
Walmart at night is scary enough without having to run into people you've slept with
It's like a double rainbow in both sides of the sky mixed with The Jeffersons.
i am laugh crying so hard the guy next door stopped playing guitar
Listen man, there's two things I know about in life: porn and sound. On a day that I'm wearing khakis, I need you to trust that I know what the fuck I'm doing.
So I just bought e from my sophomore home ec teacher. How's your weekend going?
thanks again for a nice night (and please don't fuck my boss)
of course we called 911. an innocent mans booze was at steak
and it's like......my shirt is off and he's talking about quidditch. why.
It’s 830 am and the amount of Valentine’s Day snaps I’ve already seen makes me either want to vom, drink a bottle of wine, or buy chocolate
1000% No lie I was just looking on insta and was thinking about taking a bottle of wine to the face..
for future reference, singing eye of the tiger outside my door while i am having sex makes me incredibly uncomfortable
apparently not uncomfortable enough for you to stop
Randomize
