your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
How do u get a lost condom out? Like really lost... up there...
so i was dancing to the glee soundtrack with highheels. i tripped. and the dildo fell on my face. i dont know what happened.
after last nights cooking expirments i have lost all faith in the fire alarm battery
What's the appropriateness of putting a 50 cent lyric in my gmas eulogy?
I'm using the size of your dick as a guage to see how big something is on Amazon. Any questions?
Myy bathroom floor makes me think I'm on Mars. Also. Did you realize that yesterday we perfected thee mind high-five??
And please let him know I don't normally go off on long rants about feminist theory. That was totally the vodka talking.
First of all you're supposed to say "you're not fat". And second of all never ever deprive me of nachos.
Lets start a coed nudist frat/sorority. It would be amazing. Or just an orgy club. It would also be amazing
There was a point where you were singing "Friends in Low Places" to yourself while Juicy J was playing so I got worried.
Turns out Edward 40 hands and life-sized jenga is really hard...Didn't stop you from trying. How is your concussion?
Oh, btw, UPS might come by. Drunk me ordered us $75 worth of gummy airhead starburst type candies. Whatever it is, it'll be delicious.
Beer Olympics must happen in honor of the legit Olympics.
hey, i didnt think i could be this stupid either but you dont see ME getting all judgemental about it
Randomize
