I just took a dump by candlelight. I feel like a pilgrim.
he literally had a slideshow of all the girls hes had sex with pictures set to american woman
My mom just said we needed to put weed into our earthquake kit.
Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Man the liquor store just wrong numbered me, its a sign even god wants me to drink
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
She walked in on her brother jacking off and she hasn't been the same since. She's been crying and shaking non-stop. It's been two weeks.
I just realized I consumed seven different types of alcohol this weekend. And I'm only counting jungle juice as one of those. How the fuck did I not die?
Dude id rather jerk off w a fist full of bee's than deal with that girl that never stops talking.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
U can find me on my couch hungover eatin tuna evaluating my life
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... Men can be so sensitive...
Night one million where I have madri gra beads around my neck and no justifiable reason for where they came from
Just woke up and read the text that drunk me sent you, i take it all back, and you can't have my power puff girl pillow either.
How much glitter would I have to ingest in order for a "magnificent" amount to appear in my ejaculate?
What's the blow job-backrub exchange rate these days? I've got some killer stress knots
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