Im at strip club and am horny
I would dunk an oreo in her breast milk
taking shots each time the weatherman says Dont go out in this blizzard
i love waking up at 5am with an imprint of a toilet seat on my chest
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He caught a squirrel with his bare hands twice. Where do you find these people?
I would lick a homeless mans crack teeth for a cup of coffee right now.
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
There's a certain feeling that only comes from wearing pearls to hide hickeys
We just took an Eskimo family picture.. It's pretty cute honestly
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Vodka Vensday. With a Russian accent... It counts.
Being in nursing school really pays off when your dealer tries to pass off naproxen as Percocet. Like I may have made a C in pharm but I aced the pain drug test
I have the overwhelming need to take care of him. Both with my vagina and like emotionally.
Everybody posting sickening holiday couple pics and I'm over here deepthroating a bottle of whiskey.
How drunk you think somebody has to be, that they think that putting out a profile pic like that can be even a slightly good idea?
I woke up in nothing but my socks and my hat a cigarette in my mouth and a beer in my hand..........GREAT NEW YEARS
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