My gaydar just like overheated and exploded watching the male figure skaters on the olympics
Either allow it in a formal toast or i will drunkenly tell your in-laws while i'm dancing on their table. either way, the truth is coming out
Rain ponchos don't count as shirts at the bar. FYI.
I feel like jumping into a breast pit right now. Like the old school ball pits at mcdonalds.
She said I told her "I'm to drunk to take your bra off." then she said I walked out completely naked to go watch tv.
Today is leap day..... If that's not an excuse to blackout all day I don't know what is
There's a man in a pumpkin/reaper outfit advertising a new head shop outside the Taco Bell. I love this town.
S.O.S. he's talking about horses and breast feeding.
We need to get stoned and watch Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles 2. This has become a priority. Schedule accordingly.
Some nice lady just gave me a beer out of her purse. I love youth hockey
I had a dream he was standing in front of me naked and flexing while yelling VICTORY and gizzing all over the floor.
Oh my god I'm in a public bathroom with a space heater. I never want to leave
I bought 10 disposable adhesive bras and duct tape. If Home Depot can't help my breasts defy gravity, nothing will...
LMAO
When the theology professor asked me what touched me most about this trip to Rome, I guess "the guy from last night" wasn't the proper response.
This is the third time I have overheard parents tell their children "don't be that girl" in reference to me. I'm either doing something horribly wrong or amazingly right
Randomize
