I woke up at 11 this morning in my car parked in front of the bar.
I know, I tried to wake you up, but I couldnt. So I walked home
I just wanna buy a tempur-pedic so i can drink in bed and not spill
So drunk can't even tell it's my own house. WOaoOw.
I woke up on a raft in a bath tub filled with beer. excellent night.
You had already cockblocked me. The cops were just an assist.
just had wine and brownie batter for dinner. Single life is good
We're trying to decide between cracker barrel an the ER
I'm supposed to be studying for finals but all I can think about is blowing him on a sea doo this summer
Not my type. One of those types that loves that they're educated, could drink their red wine and have an intellectual conversation and have a wonderful time
An adult?
are you putting in a lot of effort today like appearance wise
I am taking my rightful place as emperor of the undead appearance wise
Had to decide between a hook up at the train restroom or getting to work on time #growingup
I love you but I don't want to see you naked.
I woke up on the floor with 2 cartons of cigarettes, a box of chocolate bars, and a business card for a man named Larry. Don't remember him, but if the Rols on his card is his, I might throw him a mouth party...
My lash glue is stronger than my sense of self respect
I guess daylight savings isn't a holiday we need to celebrate for three days...
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