true best friends attempt to put quarters in each others butts. Thanks for the best birthday ever!
Dude, I would hit that so hard that whoever could pull me out would become the king of England
guys i just found a dildo in the laundry room and its purple
whats a dildo? isnt that like a fancy piece of bread?
So you know that marine I slept with, well his girlfriend just told me I was pretty, I almost feel bad for sleeping with him now...
Dont! You were just serving you country
he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
Well, at first I was really confused. But then I realized that he was talking from his penis's perspective... in third person.
Their car went through the first bag of wine on the drive up...clearly 6 bags was not enough.
There's something odd about buying beer for the first time while wearing my school sweater from kindergarten, but I don't mind.
So how much of last night are we going to pretend never happened? Enough to stay friends?
Go forth Daniel, drink, be merry... And meet some hot Asians for your friends to bang
I guess? According to Jeff his mom is wondering when the grand babies will arrive. So I don't think they like ME so much as my supposed functioning uterus
All I remember is while we were making out M.A.A.D City came on so I pushed him off of me so I could rap along.
I was floored. Like way less concerned with him using drugs than I am with him not believing in evolution.
The modern romantic, surprising his gf w/ a gram of blow
i got drunk and started dancing with the plant because you were out of town
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