Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
Found a phone last night. Hope "daddy" gets picture messages
You've eaten a Lean Pocket for every meal for at LEAST 3 days now. Get your life in line.
Shit, I may have left some acid in your bathroom last night. Has he been in there lately.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
at the time it didn't seem likely that you would ever find the cake in your underwear
Yeah I don't even know dude. This shit has reached new levels of ridiculous. Let's hope baby Jesus gallops down a rainbow on a sparkling unicorn and wills that bitch clean. I think that's the best chance we've got.
He walked in at 7am saying that the police had his shoes and phone because he's being investigated for attempted auto theft.
How the hell does my fucking boss know about the goddamned magician I fucked?!?
my mom said i came home and fell asleep on the floor. like right in front of her.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have an interview tomorrow and listed you as a reference. If they call you, please don't tell them about the time I smuggled a Chalupa out of Taco Bell in my underwear.
The other night he asked if I had a condom and I said I had an IUD. and he goes OMG A BOMB?
Moral of the story: next time my plans include you and bourbon, I'm packing a toothbrush.
His Australian accent during sex made me think I was in an Outback Steakhouse commercial
Let's be honest, I've seen a decent amount of dicks in my life and very few of them have been worth all the trouble.
Of course his mom thinks you're nice, she doesn't know you have sex for cheeseburgers
One time!! I like sex and food....
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