you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
my underwear are soaked with white zifandel yet i have continued to wear them despite the fact im at home
I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
I woke up at 2 pm to my roommate checking my pulse.
A guy just washed his hands in the toilet. No joke
You pulled down your pants, pissed in the recliner, and wiped yourself with my utility bill. I thought it was in the worlds best interest to put you to bed.
My first drink last night was a 2-liter of jameson and coke. So hung over it hurt to put my pants back on
Druken naked yoga : jus another ploy to keep your husbands eye in check
I'm drinking with a guy who is a bigger asshole than me. We started a contest.
You were throwing cups at people in the basement, yelling at them to get out of your swamp.
The Uber driver took us to a Waffle House. We didn't even say anything when we got in. MAGIC.
How was jagerbomb pong?
It was like communism. Great in theory. Terrible when put into practice
I like that you're more concerned about how I would find the time to clone you, than the fact that I have your blood.
I pelvic thrusted so hard while he was eating me out that his nose started bleeding. I think it's broken. Trophy scars, right?
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