god I wish I could record you sometimes, you're so neurotic
I just spent twenty minutes with brandons dad explaining why head isnt typically considered sex...can we say awkward?
We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
i was so drunk he made me beileve the song was called "thanksgiving sex."
STOP fucking him and come play in the snow with us!
We just found a handle of vodka in our fridge and no one knows how it got there. God I love spring break.
of course he's cheating on me, she's 100x prettier and she can do the splits
i just sat down and hooked up with this girl. after she left i called over another girl and did the same. this happened about four more times and i never left my chair
I decided to start over my porn collection by deleting the old stuff. That was a sad piece of a pie chart...
Three Asian guys got on the elevator with a handle of Hennessey and a sleeping bag. This is not the start of a joke.
This guy on the tube is sooooooo high. Eyes are bloodshot and he's licking his headphone cords.
And I just got smacked in the face by my cat. Apparently I'm supposed to be awake now.
Is that your mom climbing in your window dude
Went to my bottom drawer for my stash , gone just a note says thanks sucker love dad
Met a beautiful Irishman two nights in a row. I may never come back.
Randomize
