I won a flip cup tournbment! Why is boot and rally so hard when youre old?
Jon and Kate. Drink everytime we see tears. Drink twice if a child cries. Finish your bev if you cry.
Can you imagine it being physically possible any other way unless the cows are unnaturally flexible
I guess I should mention that I have already fucked the Fed Ex guy.
That changes everything.
let's get a trip to cabo together for next spring... they have to have forgotten about me by now
I was still in a towel. We hadn't even started drinking yet and the champagne bottle dropped and exploded literally up into my vagina.
Yeah, he has a kid now! Shit... You know you're all grown up when the people you used to have threesomes with become parents
I've started a list of places i want to drink. To go along with the list of places i want to have sex. Lincoln's log cabin is on both.
I was trying to climb into what I thought was a bunk bed.. Turns out it was just a cabinet under the sink in a bathroom
I'm beginning to think that women just have dogs at home as an excuse to leave ASAP after hooking up, without sounding like a typical guy.
HE HAS CHALLENGED MY BADNESS. I MUST CONQUER ALL THAT QUESTIONS MY POWER. BRING FORTH THE TIT PICS.
I only want to come over for sex and blueberry pancakes
So... How much of our rent is drug money?
Drink. Fuck. Waffle House. Repeat.
Afterwards the first thing I said was, "You know, you're probably the first guy who has ever gotten laid wearing Star Wars pajama bottoms."
Randomize
