I heard you aren't going to graduate...that suck sorry bro
I heard your girlfriend is trying to spread swine flu because she wants to wear one of those masks to cover up her broke ass teeth
I wanna passion pit in your ass
She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
Im making the walk of shame with half a box of pizza, its like when youre little and you get a goodie bag leaving the party
She is sleeping in a dress because she's too drunk to put "real clothes" on
i should probably find things i have in common with someone besides drinking, before having sex with them
I kno. She bruised her chin trying to swim thru the hardwood floor.
I'm sorry, when did "I like your shit" become an acceptable pickup line?
But he's not just anonymous male genitalia anymore. I've met him, I've seen his face.
Imma do me. And by that, I mean I'm going to walk across campus still drunk at 9am on a Tuesday.
Im about to smoke a huge bowl. My penis is so happy. Who needs girls.
I need an adult. someone more adult than my current state
So, my eyeglasses somehow ended up in my nightstand drawer and they're covered in lube.
I just realized, you're dating a guy named Jameson. That is another level of whiskey dick.
still drunk.please come get me.he kicked me out because i couldn't stop laughing about passing out in the middle of taking his virginity.
Randomize
