"You squeeze, we tiip biiiiiig" JB
I just google mapped his house on satellite so i can really see how much money he has. Does that make me shallow?
He had on juicy sweatpants and thats when i knew he was no longer a threat.
I've been practicing for you. Including stockpiling medical supplies for curing hangovers.
Please put me in a whole with no windows and never let me out.
I fucking, woke up on a couch with a towel as a blanket to someones lion king ringtone.
I realized I was totally the dude in that hook up. I came first and didn't wanna help him finish. And he had paisley sheets.
Who am I sleeping next to in your bed? Where are you? Also when are you coming home... I need coffee.
I "liked" his changed relationship status just to show him I'm ok with the fact he found someone not as pretty as me
Despite popular belief cocaine is not a good pre-workout
If muffins & morning blowjobs don't make him happy, frankly, I don't think anything will.
I'm not snubbing your weed I just had a really important rack of ribs to get home to
Not really how I planned to achieve immortality, but I'll take it.
COVER ME IN BACON THATS MY FETISH
ACTUALLY ITS NOT, I HAVE NO FUCKING IDEA WHAT AWAKENS THE MONSTER BELOW THE BELT
last time we tried to watch a movie together, we ended up having really aggressive sex. during the Lion King. so what Disney classic will we be ruining this time?
Randomize
