Remember that time i walked in on your friend taking a huge shit?
Remember that time you hooked up with him?
STOP fucking him and come play in the snow with us!
We Started drinking at 8am and left the bar around 11pm....I hate ALL green things
States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
Just fucked in his moms tanning bed. While it was on. Weirdest. Tan. Ever.
It was only 12:11 and I needed to make a Pepto Latte and call it a night, I don't remember that being part of my new years resolution.
they're both probably 7 inches? or 8? I'm shoving a ruler in my mouth trying to figure it out
I was trying to be quiet until started to feel like my cock was being dipped in a rainbow and then I stopped caring temporarily
Is it weird that I want to have sex wearing my glasses and lab coat while having an actual scientific discussion?
...I'm not a booty call or a pizza...you can't just call/text and expect to be eating me in an hour..
i mostly like you because you have a nice nose and that's an important trait to pass on to my future children
so i showed up to the bars in a sombrero and a tie as a headband... so yeah, they didn't let me in
fuck school, let's just become the worst strippers ever
I'm tired of you and your emotional constipation. WHY DO YOU CLOSE YOUR EYES WHEN WE MAKE LOVE!?
So she was amazing, that's what. Idk if it was the blow or the blowjob, but both my heads are still tingling.
Randomize
