you know your drunk when 7 soccer players cant catch up to a tranny in high heels who just stole your wallet
i have essays due online every friday...im just going to write 'im hungover' for every one
our school mascot just walked into class and threw condoms everywhere. welcome to college
Puked in a plastic neiman Marcus bag while driving. My biggest accomplishment yet
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You told me I was special while we were having sex and I asked why.
What did I say?
Don't ask me questions while I have an erection,
This better be legit desert and not your penis alamode
my left tit made it into the crop job on your profile pic, I knew it was good for other things
i didnt have any regrets until i found out he was a freshman.... and the only reason he got into yale was because of soccer... and he wasnt premed.
I do believe that seeing camel toe in leopard print pants at Walmart is the closest I will ever come to going on a safari
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
apparently my buddy was fucking on our couch downstairs so i decided it was necessary to walk downstairs naked in a hockey mask.
I've literally NEVER been on a date or gotten through one episode of netflix without having sex like I JUST WANT TO WATCH TRUE DETECTIVE
You just put lesbians and Hogwarts in the same sentence. Of course I'm in.
I'm sexting at my family's 4th of July BBQ and I feel no shame....
where are my eyebrows?
We told him to puke in the Denny's parking lot or we wouldn't be his friend anymore. So he did. He wasn't even drunk.
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