Let's make love on the newspapers that declare financial doomsday
the chick doesn't look like she's put anything in her mouth for weeks other than his dick.
I just got stood up by an 18 yr old. fmylife.
Betty ford says i'm here all night
So it turns out the white chocolate in the bathroom is actually soap
He just knocked over the beer pong table... I haven't seen so much fail in one room since I watched "Mall Cop" with my grandma
I was in a threesome last night that turned into a violent domestic dispute with damage to a hotel. Wish you were there!
We had a long talk in which he told me he respects me more than any other girl. 30 minutes later, I got a facial.
just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
look up what dreaming that you're in a lesbian relationship with a manatee means.
I had to jump out of her car while it was moving enough said
i love all of you. Physical. Emotional. Mental. All of it. When we speak i feel like a feather or a dragon depending on the conversation ...
If I'm going to start compromising my butthole it's going to be for much better drugs than a ventolin
THERE ARE LEGITLY 4 SEPARATE BITE MARKS ON MY DICK. WHAT. THE. FUCK.
Legitimately*
Go fuck yourself
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
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