you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
so i decided not to tell her that her fiance is cheating since i already bought the bridesmaid dess
i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
We just found a handle of vodka in our fridge and no one knows how it got there. God I love spring break.
All I did this weekend was get my life in order. I feel like I wasted my time.
i was staring at her drunk thinking "shes at least a four"
I woke up in an apt hallway this morning and a nice lady brought me coffee cause she thought I was homeless
There are five fire trucks here and needless to say my booty call left so come back home whenever you like
He said I was really mad at him on Friday. Dude I fell asleep in all my clothes and shoes, with my flashlight on, on my phone... I could have been mad at the wall. It wasn't my classiest day.
God if that man would just have sex with me every time I got mad life would be so much easier...
Yes, bail money means jail. It also means lie to dad, do it now.
Hahahaha .. If it makes you feel better I had a sex dream about a cheeseburger last night so I feel like we both lose.
My professor just paused class to answer a phone call from her dog. Im taking shots before this class from now on.
He started planning our future mid-hookup. You tell me how my night was.
She lured me back to her place with pizza and tits. I was totally helpless
Randomize
