It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
I just found 22 drunken videos and 4 naked pictures on my phone. We'll start the bidding at $5
You came into my room at 3am.. drunk.. and asked to do spanish homework together. Props for being a good student.
im still trying to figure out who put the honey mustard in the blender then put the entire blender into the freezer
my dad just asked me if my booty call guy that comes over at 3am and leaves at 6 would like to stay for sunday brunch next week. you in?
the thing I didn't realize I would miss about college is that at home you can't just dismiss your sex bruises as drunk accidents
To my ex and my favorite mistake: I totally enjoyed hearing you have erectile disfunction via baby monitor!
By the way. I expect to test the theory of you running a mile drunk for memorial day.
It's all coming back to me. I drank moonshine from a milk carton from a guy named tomohawk last night.
Until she magically finds a brain, I'm going to be a dick. Fair trade. She's a idiot, I'm an ass.
You know it was a good night when you're lying on the couch in your pjs at 4pm having a pitcher of ice water for breakfast.
Well five day drinking adventure in appreciation of cinco de drinko under the belt, great way to start may
I chatted up the pastor's son on Grindr during the service. Still ridiculing my decision to go to church this morning?
My neighbor was my D.A.R.E officer and I feel like I've defeated him by smoking weed outside everyday
I told him I lived in the apartment beside his brother and he said "oh, you're the girl that watches really loud porn!"
Randomize
