these burps are starting to have way more vomit in them,
she sang that "this little piggy song" to my balls. and somehow made it work, with me only having two balls instead of five.
Just had sex with a girl from Italy. The only english she knew was Obama campaign slogans. Her screaming, "Yes we can!" as I was railing her not only turned me on but allowed my neighbors to know it was consentual.
There's never a time that i stay at this apartment that when i wake up in the morning and sit outside to smoke a cigarette that i don't feel ashamed of myself.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Three people drank on "never have I had sex in a tractor." Iowa at its best?
Text me back. Urgent. It is a porta Keep the portal alive.
Is this the acid talking?
Hey, ok if I kidnap you? I wanna test a theory.
You could make a naked club. One member, you. One president, you.
Have bite marks on my arm where my temporary tat was Saturday night. Did someone try to bite Captain America or something?
One of the many mysteries surrounding the weekend...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You were just so carefree! People were like, "there's broken glass everywhere" and you were just like, IDGAFFFFFFF
Whoever decided to put a Denny's that close to the strip club is a genius.
Hey Cat, it's Michael. You made out with me for a hot dog last night and I feel super used.
Don't go to jail over some guy named Bunky
Just don't do anything stupid
i did a stupid sorry
Something is wrong here. The birds are chirping and I'm not fucking you, I'm not getting head and I don't smell bacon. Why am I up this early then?
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