VITAMINS IN VODKA. IM NOT LYING.
I just did my online traffic school at the bar. No biggie.
I don't think he realizes it but he was stroking the faucet while he was talking to me.
I was very proud of myself that day. I had an awesome time. I don't care if I negatively impacted others.
I woke up in nothing but a shower cap and your sparkling coke straw snorter thing inbetween my toes. Explain.
After i black out, be a good friend and point me to the direction of a girl with daddy issues, any girl would do just fine
I just took my birth control with a water bottle I found in my purse with vodka in it in Spanish class. 10am is still too early for me.
Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc
I just got my beard fondled by a drunk chick outside the venue. I feel slightly violated. And I think her boyfriend wanted to fight me.
Stop calling dibs on everything with a vagina you jackass.
That should be the title of my autobiography.
So...guess who had sex tied to the ladder of a caboose under the stars in Joshua Tree? This bitch
Should I apologize to him for saying I wanted to punch him in the face as I was digging through the trash?
just found out that my aunt grows weed. today is a good day to be me.
I told him. He hasn't said anything. Crying and holding cats is probably what is happening.
I feel like that japanese guy who ate all the hotdogs. Except replace hotdogs with sailor jerrys. And instead of a trophy and world record I just get a hangover at work
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