Dude that chick had her name tattooed in Japanese characters between her b-cups. I kept calling her Toyota.
At barnes & noble, drinking beer out of thermoses, lookin legit.
Dude she has a fucking rock collection. Never will I ever talk to her again.
He was telling me how the song fireflies makes him feel like he can talk to animals
My mom just asked me if I was gay in front of my gf
She tried to lure me back to her house by saying she had "real" pizza.
I vagually remember taking your birthcontrol and washing it down with ash water
only thing in my fruit bowl is 4 champagne corks and a jenga piece . Tuesday.
What happened with the girl wasn't a gay thing. It was just a mutual respect and want for sex. The guys just weren't there.
Call it what you want. You fucked a girl.
Dad stumbling and puking in the White Castle parking lot = Father's Day success
Did you know that if you chase vodka with cheap red wine it tastes exactly like college alcoholism?
she opened a can of olives, drained the juice and poured ranch dressing in. oh and 'croutons' (saltines) on top...
It's been awhile, you pregnant yet?
I told him you forbid me to sleep with him so he needs to accept that.
I just gave a fucking twenty minute blowiob.. I'm a GOOD girlfriend.
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