good. and stop kissing my girl you dirty slut.
i don't think she's still your girl..plus, she kept screaming "kiss me! i'm a lesbian!" last night so i think you're outta luck..
She just asked me if her C-section scar turned me on.
She is feeding us popcorn out of her bra
I used his computer to order the pizza and the only thing he had in his search bar was 'text NASA'
you were telling us about the time you had sex in an alley and he stopped, looked up and said 'it was a cul-de-sac' and went right back to what he was doing.
It was super embarrassing when I had to tell my brother, in front of my mother, that my wifi password was Drinkupbitches. Thanks for providing that lovely family moment.
A guy was over-the-skirt fingering me on the dance floor and I stopped him to sensually rap in his ear. So that was my Halloweekend
my new game is to try to use the phrase "explosion in your mouth". as much as possible on tinder.
So he just rolled you off his dick and fell on the floor?
He compared my vagina to his favorite T-shirt. I don't know if I should take that as a compliment or not..
well, mom whipped her new boobs out at the dining room table. So yeah you could say we had a pretty casual thanksgiving
AHHHHHHHHH. I LEFT A GLASS NEXT TO ME WHEN I FELL ASLEEP I'M SO SURE IT WAS WATER BUT NOW IT'S VODKA JESUS MADE A STOP
Fell asleep on kitchen floor again, chicken nuggets everywhere.
Only you would consider your best friend fucking your boyfriend to be a sign of everlasting friendship
Do you want to talk about dinosaurs?
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