so i was dancing to the glee soundtrack with highheels. i tripped. and the dildo fell on my face. i dont know what happened.
I don't think I'm emotionally ready for this blow job.
vodka bottle broke. scooping it out of the plastic tub with a shot glass into a sprite bottle using a ziplock bag as a funnel and straining the glass out with paper towels. good thursday night?
Ummm I just broke my no puke streak at church
No our divorce decree will not have a blow job clause. Unless my alimony is greatly increased your bj's have been reduced to fantasy status.....
all im saying is that if he was a normal person, he would have fucked me by now.
It was fine until he came back to my place, grabbed a beer, HIGH-FIVED me, and left.
Who the fuck cries when they're stoned?!
Sorry man I just really wanted a McChicken
my roommate would be appalled if she knew how many times i've peed in the kitchen sink
He's mad at me because I said I wouldn't date him if his dick was smaller. I fail to see the issue
you tried to drunkinly do the backflip kick off of karate kid and broke the big screen
Just got back from a Walmart run. The music went straight from Kid Rock to John Phillip Souza. If that doesn't scream 'MURICA I don't know what will. Happy 4th!
thanks for passing me through your vagina 20 years ago today. your the best
Our livers get a hall pass for 2020, right?
I’ve basically been controlling him with my tits for months now, so I can’t even imagine what would happen if I start banging him
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