Dude michael jackson died, guess he's not 'stayin aliveee' any longer.
Uh dude that wasn't a michael jackson song it was the BGs
Can we fast forward to the part where we get gyros
Pregaming for shuffle board at 10 AM. I love spring break.
She eyed me up from across the bar and mouthed "I have no gag reflex".
I just called my cat a slut and she responded. Proudest moment ever.
Just woke up with three stitches in my left boob. Nevertheless, I think I'm going to like this school.
She devotes each year to either men or women. I waited all year for her to be straight, tonights the night.
Didn't I tell you I have developed a shameless theory about farting anywhere and everywhere? I'm too pretty so no one suspects me.
She came to the party dressed as slutty elmo and then called me oscar the grouch for not wanting to bang her in the dumpster outside.
she is way to in-touch with her childhood
You put Smirnoff in your grape juice and called it communion...
In case you were wondering how drunk I was last night, there was an unopened slim Jim in front of my door and I ate it.
Didn't have the heart to tell him that while he was eating my ass I was laughing, not moaning, into the pillow
just ran into my father at CVS while buying condoms...he winked at me. I really need to move out of this town.
You need a new phone. When you talk it sounds like the teacher from Peanuts while she's trying to give a blowjob.
The thought of you trying to procreat frightenes and disgusts me!
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