I'm saving my limes so I'll know how many drinks I've had.
I do the same thing, but I use ice cubes.
how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
I need to talk about my life with someone. Preferably with someone who hasn't tried to jizz on me
I'm finding that as the end of the quarter approaches, the list of things I refuse to do sober keeps getting longer.
So I just told the bartender I would go down on her. You need to get here
Yes. I feel like complaining about sex all the time with a 21 year old might be punishable by death of the sex gods so I try not to
Topless dodge ball cldnt top that
How big of a disservice to the economy would we be doing if we didn't drink every day holiday break?
I ran into my boss at the liquor store on our lunch hour we both just stood there awkwardly until i was like your car bar or mine hahaha we both need a cab
I won't be able to get a boner for a month
Challenge accepted.
I've found myself wondering why I WASN'T naked before, but I generally always know why I am naked. Except now. WHY THE FUCK ARE WE ALL NAKED
He literally wrote out a schedule. On it, there's a taco break, and a spot where I start crying.
I bought a vibrating wall dildo with my tax return. You?
I woke up in a stranger's bed wearing nothing but santa socks.
What a weekend. It started with me realizing i might not be straight and ended with me spraining my foot.
Randomize
