Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
How are you going to be there by 9am?
Relax I always go to these conferences hung over
You say that like it's a positive quality
He won't talk to me. He'll only communicate using scissors
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
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You went to jail last night?!
Just a little bit.
our flight took off 8 am and the bar didn't close til 5, so we decided it was a good idea to just stay out all night. Drunk logic is awesome. We were all scared we wouldn't get let onto the plane
Me and the guy at the liquor store are on a first name basis, college is all about networking.
He's upstairs shouting 'FUCK OFF I'M IN MY MOTHERFUCKING ZEN ZONE' out of the window.
I had to physically pry the rocks out of your hands so you wouldn't throw them at the guy with the cowboy hat. You probably would've missed anyways.
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I feel like I'm laying on a pillow cloud. With little baby angel fingers between me and the cloud lifting me up. Singing hymns in my ear.
That moment when the line ‘If you want a hot body you better work bitch’ in Britney Spears’ new song comes on as you’re using two forks to shovel enchilada into your mouth.
You know that feeling when you wake up and your whole body just smells like a penis?
the only reason I'm still sleeping with him is to get the university's secure wifi password
There is a man in my bed with "new zealand" tattooed on his back. Wtf happened last night?
Met a beautiful Irishman two nights in a row. I may never come back.
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