somehow, due in part to drug cocktail and alchl prior to meeting, i blacked out, got home, made total mess of kitchen, broke shower, and made 17 hard boiled eggs
I spilled a beer on myself, so I went back to my place to change. The city marshall was at my door with a warrant. That beer cost me 760 bucks.
This is the last pregnancy scare i've had since i was 12 and i thought you could get pregnant from masturbating.
Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
Just found out my 21st birthday is on a Wednesday. The possibilities are cheap, as well as endless.
They just called to see if he wanted to come in at 2am for overtime. He's trashed. He literally carried on a 10 minute convo with his boss about woodchucks. As in the animal
I never want to hear the words unlimited shots for boobs in the same sentence ever again.
How was the rest of your night?
A little fuzzy and a lot naked.
Dude cabbage spilt on the floor, and now danielles rolling it. Happy st party's day.
Now that weed is legalized There needs to be reusable bags for people to pick up with. All this plastic is so bad for the environment and a waste
I would really just like to get laid somewhere that's not on a bathroom floor at this point in my life
we're drinking bellinis i mean god's titty nectar
He told me to prepare for his "Jurassic cock" and I had to leave the room from laughing.
I was just informed that I asked for a glass of wine at the police station
I'm sure it would have gone very well with the cigarette you lit there.
About the whale....I wasn't completely awake.
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