problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
there hasn't been a girl guy ratio this good since a guy jumped on one of the Titanic life rafts
he kept whispering yes yes yes yes the entire 15 minutes. i almost wish it was a quickie.
I'm concerned you might be passed out on a random rooftop right now. Not concerned enough to do anything about it. Hope you're alive. Goodnight.
Why is everyone in the bowling alley looking at me like i'm a prostitute just because I have bunny ears on?
she was rubbing her elbow against the fish tank and laughing hysterically then she said I'M THEIR FISHY GOD and watched harry potter
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
It wasn't even dirty talking, it was more like the soothing gentle nonsense noises you make when you've spooked a horse.
Let's get matching tattoos, something that resembles our friendship
A tequila worm?
I just woke up naked next to a GetGo sandwich and I can hear my cats are eating my combos. So that's my life.
Wall of shame with a backpack full of beer bottles, cowboy hat in hand, and a handlebar mustache. I was applauded by a passing car
ever bang a guy wearing an $800 suit? today you will.
I feel like this is something I should shave my legs for
I had a dream that I got you so wet that you flooded my apartment
Decided to stop by the store on my walk of shame. I must really look like shit, a six year old girl just walked up to me and said "my mommy wanted me to tell you Jesus loves you." Thanks kid.
i just used a selfie stick to take an ass pic. i hate myself.
Randomize
