he told me he wanted to get "words" tattooed on his penis so he could say hes always putting words in my mouth..
I'm pretty sure I saw a man standing on a table with no shirt on getting sugar thrown at him while "pour some sugar on me" blaring while the cops were in the house.
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
Calling yourself a modern day Geisha doesn't justify being a whore.
he described going down on me as being like 'entering a jungle of deliciousness and fur
At the party. I feel like I just walked into a lifesize blunt.
I think I'm about to have sex with a second person before noon hehehhe! You're welcome America.
There was a sweat stain in the shape of a fast chick with low standard on your bathroom floor
She just texted me apologizing for taking selfies on my phone then asked me to send them to her
I wore wrist and ankle weights while we had sex. Does that count as working out?
You have no idea the kind of bodily contortions I had to do to access your neighbor's WIFI
I'm the kind of gay who carries his anxiety medication in case the club scene gets too fierce
wait he has a twin??? which one did you fuck
yes
Grabbed the cop's ass and he still arrested Heather instead. Victory is mine!!
I want to ride that like one of the Horsemen of the Apocalypse- with bourbon in hand and without mercy.
Randomize
