You kept hiding marshmallows in the freezer saying "they would never think to look here"
She was giving me great head...... until I asked her how much this was going to cost.... she left abruptly
I woke up face down on my laptop with three windows open: itunes, chat roulette and redtube
He keeps trying to sell me the forks from his kitchen drawer
he said i was so drunk that i shared a urinal with him and we simultainiously peed
I think im definitely allergic to shell fish. Or hungover. Probably both.
She was giving you that "I really want to blow you but I have to act professional" look. Guaranteed
I never thought to pass out in a hotel lobby rather then paying for a hotel room until you taught me that's acceptable at the Hilton
Just tell your wife to stay in the car because you are self conscious about drinking infront of her. Now you have a DD AND we can still have a good time.
Dear god how many nuts did u bust in me my vagina feels like a bowl of jello.
I told him not to mix beer with his Dr. Pepper...his reply was "i'm a grown ass man i'll do what i want". Judging by the sounds coming out of the bathroom he regrets not listening to me.
We've only been here for 15 hours and our names are already on 2 separate police reports. We've also been given our "final warning" by the cops and hotel management.
Andy was trying to screw his door shut from the inside so no one could get in.
Oh my god, my vagina is cursed. He's cursed my vagina so that no one but him can maintain a boner around me. I'm sure of it.
Omfg 7 hour sex session who am I?
PS: I think I'm in love
Ability to walk tomorrow tbd
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