i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
when did my "fat clothes" just become my clothes...diet starts tomorrow
Only you can can turn Jenga into a drinking and then a sex game.
i find it unbelievable that you didn't think it was necessary to intervene when i started letting people autograph my body with spray tan.
The really sad thing is that I actually practiced crawling in my room yesterday in preparation for today
oh my god, just saw a man throw up in a trashcan and blood came out of his nose. HES GETTING ON MY BUS. HES SITTING ACROSS FROM ME. FUCK.
He's acting like I should like him more than vodka and Taco Bell, but I just don't ser that happening.
No she left bc the of pic I have of my mom in my bathroom. She thought it was my gf
Why the hell do you have a picture of YOUR MOM in your bathroom?!?!
Hungover. Have to fix everything I've broken. I'm gonna be very late.
A man in a black on black escalade pulled up next to me, and told me he was sent to pick me up by you.
His name is Tyreece. He will take you to the weed emporium, population me.
GOVERNMENT SHUTDOWN NO RULES ICE CREAM FOR BREAKFAST woooo!
Dude, tumbleweeds have been rolling through my bed lately. This is my dryest dry spell since I was married.
Can you hurry up? Jamie just challenged my ex boyfriend to a duel and someone honest to God handed her a sword?
She didn't have her own?
Puked in my purse on my Uber ride home last night. Safe to say it's not a good idea to beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
It was probably the most embarrassing moment of my life. But I had cleavage, so I'm good!
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