i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
Just saw an Asian kid crash into the bike rack with his bike. I love sitting outside the engineering building.
I think this dress is screaming I want a birthday 3some with two moderately attractive guys. I hope.
I think the world might be a better place if everyone was capable of having open relationships.
Vodka is such a love hate relationship.
Truer words have never been spoken.
im sitting in the back of my pickup eating an artichoke. please come find me, im scared.
that was a mass text, wasnt it?
I think the camel was justified in biting me.
Ummmm you know you're drinking vodka out of a Skittles bag, right?
How do you get kicked out of 3 different Subways in one night..
Not very gracefully, that's how.
You're finding a boat, I'm going to sleep with a guy that lives above a bar and has 24 hour access. We are really nailing this adulting thing
Just in case you forgot, last night you came home drunk and pissed all over my laptop. You owe me a laptop.
I managed all three standard threesome configurations a female-bodied person can achieve in just under nine years. I want to high-five everyone involved, but I've lost touch with a couple of them
He only has one ball. it was like fucking a cyclops.
Protip if he licks the back of your knee and you reflexively kick him your game of 'lick the lady' is over.
Think he has a gf
Yea that shit doesn’t necessarily stop me
Randomize
