I woke up naked this morning and I found out that I thought I was Adam last night and Eve was my wife so I ran naked saying I was in the Garden of Eden and I could shit wherever I wanted.....too bad the garden was in my friends apt.......I spent the morning cleaning and have reached a new low
why is every porn film shot in the same house? with the same red couch!?!
just wanted to thank u for shitting in my dads bidet last night. i had to manually scoop ur shit out of it. btw ur dumped.
I'm taking last night back. It officially didn't happen. Tell your friends.
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
We ended up on a hotel balcony in Daytona where she lured a seagull down with a pizza crust she found in her purse and preceded to grab it out of the air by it's neck.
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
How do i tell my boyfriend " I'm taking the two weeks im in Europe to fuck my way across 9 countries" in a way where we will still be together?
she got into med school, i feel dumb for banging her dance major friend
He told me he deactivated his facebook because his girlfriend caught him wackin it to my profile picture.
10 points to you
Ugh contemplating vodka and chocolate protein powder as this Capri sun and vodka isn't really cutting it
I lied. Can't workout today. Only exercises I'm currently capable of doing are breathing ones to keep last night's drinks ending up all over the classroom.
Fun times on public transportation. I just had a guy imply that I was racist cause I didn't want to talk to him when I was clearly reading my book and he was clearly on coke.
Is it bad that we left the kid passed out on the bus? I think his name was texas. I was too drunk to be questioning this.
There are 6 of us in a mini cooper and his maid is in the trunk...she needed a ride.
Randomize
