and then he said that some chick told him he danced like an epileptic on crystal meth. he then proceeded to demonstrate this statement, which i can testify is 100% accurate.
I tried to throw up out of my window but I forgot there was a mesh screen.
his dad told me thanks for making his little boy a man at breakfast this morning
My mom made me chili for when I get home from the bar. Those are the standards I expect you to live up to
I asked her if she was the outdoorsy type, she replied "I had sex on a fourwheeler once, does that count?"
The question of "Will I eat a piece of curried chicken off the floor?" has been answered tonight.
Good thing it was his birthday because I accidentally grabbed his dick at the bar. A lot.
Ya well my good-girl image was pretty much blown when he found out I'm going to jail soon.
I have an explanation for how we got this drunk this fast... but you wont like it. We are officially in complete liver failure.
Come over so we can hookup and eat tacos. Those are 2 things you can't possibly turn down.
Then mom squeezed my boob and said, "Dad would go nuts if I had these..."
You can't be friends with my side piece. Conflict of interest.
You missed the winter stoner olympics last night....I got the gold in blunt rolling
I feel like I have the I just lost my virginity face and everyone at the grocery store knows it.
I’m excited to finally meet my stalkee and his penis!
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