Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
He is like that thing on the menu you would eat because nothing else looks remotely edible.
Do you think if Santa was real that he's have a big penis?
She had to leave early so she could get ready for her high school's homecoming. I hope her date likes sloppy seconds.
i'm sitting pantsless eating potato chips and watching porn before he picks me up for our date. I hope he's ready for this...
i'm sitting in class and looking at who would die if all the fans suddenly fell from the ceiling. i guess i have next year to pass history..
I took an adderall. This is weird. My eyes are really wide open and I am really good at staring. I've written on 9 peoples walls and updated my status. I am getting shit DONE!
Topless dodge ball cldnt top that
Add caroling to the list of things we need to do in an elevator
I folded my dollar bills into mustaches in preparation for our trip to the strip club
I woke up on a boat next to an extremely attractive man wearing nothing but a life jacket. Neither one of us owns a boat...
I just wanna get drunk and go sledding in my kayak
Yeah, I got home from work at like 9:30, and he was passed out on the couch wearing only a tee shirt and The Jurassic Park theme on repeat.
Guy from the bar last night left his number on my waterbill on the counter, at the bottom he put don't forget I can hook you up at Little Caesars I work their part time.
You sure know how to pick em.
Wow you are like a taller more attractive sex Yoda.
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