You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
I need hand sanitizer and jesus.
He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
If I could have all the money back from the pregnancy test i've bought- I could buy myself a vacation.
Or a large amount of condoms?!?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just got while a charlie horse while orgasming...most confusing feeling ever...
Tell me you didn't have sex with my dad.
All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
adding to the list of how to lure in freshman boys: take dogs for a walk, yell at them from across the street, sit on the curb at 3 in the morning sobbing
so you know how I brush my teeth after I give you a bj? according to my dentist my teeth have never been cleaner. looks like this will be a recurring thing
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Okay hun. Well my neighbors haven't called the cops yet so I think we're good. No more burning in the yard.
Where the fuck do you get consience sedatives from?
"you can only have my number if you answer all the questions on this trivial pursuit card correctly"
I was just trying to flirt with James Franco but she kept telling me to take shots out of Ron Burgundy's mouth
I'm not sure why he thinks weird that I masturbate AND look at pinterest at the same time.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
Randomize