I just woke up in bed with 4 girls. Either i dont remember the best night of my life or they think im gay.
She looks like Sash Grey but sounds like Fran Drescher. Advise.
like semen in my mouth is absolutely disgusting but i'd still like to experience it
I couldn't even finish, she was lounder and more annoying than DJ Khaled
You know its bad when convincing your mother you were masturbating is the better alternative
Say something like you want him to fuck you behind a McDonald's. Guys secretly love weird shit like that.
So, I was thinking... Since this restraining order doesn't go into affect until monday, that leaves us 5 days to wreck his world.
So my niece decided to play "lets make shapes out of your bruises" with me and told me that one of them looks like a shark bite. Bravo, sir. Bravo.
We found him wrapped up in a giant table umbrella in the bathroom.
You need to stop thinking about the needs of your vagina and concentrate on the greater good
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
Come to office depot with me I need help picking out a daily planner that will help me keep all of my casual sex dates organized.
The worst thing about buying this extremely comfortable bed is that once I get a girl into it, all she wants to do is sleep. I want my fucking money back.
I woke up and saw that my last google search was "Bacon neck".
The kid with the ed hardy shirt put a bunch of random shit in the washer and turned it on. example: a hanger, the movie Chocolate with Johnny Depp, and your mom's cat
Randomize
