Was it cool?
About as cool as only getting a handjob on your honeymoon.
My Vagina smells like Nemo again.
I told him that he is like a snow storm I never know when he is coming, how many inches I will get, or how long it will last
the higher we get, the more he looks like ray charles.
Sorry really high. We have no lighter so we're lighting the bowl with rolled up paper towels lit by candle which also lit with a rolled up paper towel that we lit with the stove eye
I'm sorry. I know you didn't expect me to be arm deep in vagina when you walked through the door.
If I ever mention marriage force me to Brazil to do coke and strippers until I die.
I was just handed jelly beans by a guy in a penguin costume. Standby for confirmation on if they are actually drugs.
oh sorry. I thought "boat" was code for "penis"
Middle of vacation, he walked into an audition for a Broadway musical in a drunken stupor. I think he got the part.
Blonde girl lying face-down, passed out next to my bed, walls are covered in guacamole. College is looking excellent.
Can't we have real sex instead of you just thrusting the air near me?
Watched an eagle swoop down and eat a rabbit on my walk back from your place, literally too high to handle this right now
Kay so its 9 am whose dumbass is gunna act sober to buy pizza rolls
Dude you promised
After he finished, he fell on the floor and whispered "finally satisfied"
Randomize