I got into an eating contest with Christina. I ate 6 oranges.
Why? Who won?
we don't know. we ran out of oranges.
i broke up with my boyfriend last night because i had to eat a freezy pop in every color and he ate the last blue one. i sat on the floor and cried for an hour at least. everyone left. so i decided that this whole weed thing isnt really healthy for my relationships.
you think it's bad that I have four different guys toothbrushes in my bathroom?
Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
I love seeing the creepers that friend request me outside of facebook. its like seeing a unicorn in the middle of campus.
I woke up 25 minutes ago and have been high for 20. Impressive?
i'm sitting in the pool eating chicken pot pie with my little brother's friend. moments like these are the reason i love weed.
You ever get that 6th sense feeling in your dick like you know its gonna get sucked later?
Everytime I am with a guy I hope his penis is as big as yours. It never is. Thanks for setting that bar.
After seeing how much you are able to funnel in a night, I am 90% sure your blood is pure gin.
I can't figure out if I'm dying from all of the booze still in my system, or from the cement wall.
My fridge is empty and all of my food is in the bathtub. Just.. Why?
Well, I was asked to leave the Waffle House for "being to physical" so I think that option is off the table
Lynn just told me "I heard about your divorce. Condoms or morning pill your choice and I'm buying". Sorry but I got plans now bro.
well i blew him then my wife blew him, so im guessing we'll be seeing him around, yeah
Randomize
