I'm pretty sure he came before I knew he was inside me.. Didn't think that was his plan when he said he was gonna do things I've never experienced before
I just had one of those moments where i was really sad that i'll never get to be asian.
I just cleaned your Jaeger vomit off my car with a knife. Don't ever say I don't love you.
I just won 10 dollars from out chugging the bar tender and I found out that the baby aint mine in the last hour. I don't even care if l get laid tonight any more.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My gynecologist just commented on how well my vagina was waxed
her and i fucked to a michael jackson song and she had it memorized so she squealed every time he did
So the bartender just told me that there was numerous people who saw me having sex on the rooftop last weekend. +1
She told me she's dating him because his apartment is a block from Taco Bell. I don't know how she's not fat.
My last google search is "how to build a flamethrower"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Flatmate got laid for the first time in 3 years. I'm baking a cake.
I was gonna turn him down, but he correctly identified a song from Pocahontas.
Are ropes allowed in during conjugals?
dude you know how i got totally hammered and lost my phone at some frat when i came to visit you two months ago? yeah well someone mailed it back to me in minnesota.. with a picture of a cock as the screen savor
Ur creepiness is now affecting my life and I'm not okay with it
Well when we Get drunk it gets rowdy. We could always attempt self-control. But historically and statistically speaking, we fail at that.
Randomize