can you pick me up an extra syllabus
i passed out in the shower again
Someone in my history class just FB messaged me saying they highly suggest I put my sunglasses on. He is sitting 18 rows in front of me...
I want to know him. He looks like he makes really good breakfast burritos.
Of course he wants me there for his birthday. If a girl offers you a blowjob for every year of your life, you're gonna want her to be there.
Were at her birthday dinner and her dad keeps buying me shots saying when I was your age I fucked the shit outta girls
Hahahahahaha remind him your dating his daughter
I'm so glad I got to use the word gutterslut before 11:00a today.
Its 10:23 on a monday morning and im craving jello shots, this is a problem
He only had napkins in the bathroom... no toilet paper. If I fuck him, am I settling?
The only image of you you know is from reflections or pictures. Its 2d. But what other people see is 3d. How do you know that's your real face! MIND.BLOWN.
Plus, it's just valuable. Virgin pee is very well-priced.
All three of us got laid last night. This is what is commonly referred to as the Trifuckta.
I think the saddest part about my sex life is that most of it is pity sex.
Dude, I traded weed for crunch berries. Happy Thursday.
Is it weird that my mother is taking body shots off my gf after meeting once?
He's a freak. Not like "freak in the bed" freak but like "eats glue in the weekends" freak.
Randomize
