New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
im getting a BJ in a closet
and a penguin just handed me a bong
The only thing worse than cracking my rib on a slip and slide was having the doctors laugh when they found out in my medical history that I did this exact same thing last summer.
Yeah thats cool. We can play the alphabet game while doing bumps of coke in the back of his volswagon
PLEASE. I won't throw up on the floor this time. Or fuck in the bathroom. Or dance on the pool table. So PLEASE.
Dude. Stop sending me lines from Hungry Like the Wolf
Just bc you put "its cute" at the end of it doesn't change the fact that u have called me a vag twice this morning and its only 10:03
Its so bad though\nOur relationship has gotten to the point where im posing nude with a swiffer
I'd let you fuck my husband in the future, that's how much I love you
Should I be flattered that she mumbled "You're the king of my face" before passing out?
Hey! How are you feeling? Still preferring soup over sex?
ABOUT TO MAKE THE BIGGEST MISTAKE OF MY LIFE, SEND HELP
Have fun and good luck.
I know I drink too much cuz "ssssjllapph peneinssesss" automatically comes up in my phone now.
he went down on me and a few minutes later he asked to show me a magic trick. then he pulled a quarter out of my vagina
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