Bought a water-proof vibrator. Rubber ducky is no longer the one that makes bathtime so much fun.
No, he will live forever, like cockroaches and Jack Bauer.
He showed up to the Seder drunk and tried to convince everyone that he could read Hebrew.
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
Dude she has starbursts in her sports bra. I feel like this is counter productive.
Whoever decided it was a good idea to sell 40's at a bar with life-sized jenga deserves a nobel prize.
So "Abstinence August" was a bust. Maybe I'll try for "Sex-free September" or "Only if we're facebook official October"
You're not supposed to support this behaviour, btw the judge recognized me
I have chafed skin from the handy she gave me. I told her that and she said return the favor when it heals. I'm in love.
Currently hot boxing a fort I made on our snow day... This is legendary
He found his first fuckbuddy I'm so proud I feel like making him a card or something
I woke up with a dread of barbecue sauce in my hair. Drunk munchies makes me a disgusting person.
My life has turned into sitting in the driveway listening to Total Eclipse of the Heart while staring at the Blue Moon. Hey, August. Let's be nice. I need help.
These business classes have improved my drug business ten fold
I would let him fuck me right here in this laundromat. Praise Satan.
Randomize
