shes a baton twirler.. i expected her to be better with her hands.
My grandpa just complimented my boobs. Im taking this as a compliment but also brushing it off as alcoholism on his part.
The working title of my paper? "Tailgating: A Big Clusterfuck of Kids Who Dont Actually Give a Shit about Football"
Its not that I'm getting free haircuts... Its just that she is paying for sex with haircuts...
I feel like butter and tequila would be excellent combination. Right now. Please do this in my name.
I don't know what possessed you to do that, but you have to give the stripper more money before you try to check her oil or they are going to throw us out every time you do that.
It was a great idea until we got stuck in a ditch. We had to call redneck cousin 1
He got an erection from helping me mobilize my lumbar spine. I love physical therapy school.
It's 1am and I'm on LSD and I have diarrhea in a Dunkin Donuts. Help me
was that the third sophomore you've banged this week?
third one in three days
He was publicly touching my boobs before I even knew he's a famous World Cup skier.... That's how hot he was
Did you throw up out the back door and cover it with paper towels?
Come as you are, bitch. Glitter and vodka provided.
His birthday is on cinco de mayo and he doesn’t drink or like tacos. What a waste.
don’t ask me. i snorted coke off of a pregnancy test box last night. i obviously don’t make the best life choices.
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