every time i get drunk at her place i end up leaving with nothing but an empty box of toaster strudels..
theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
How was the bike ride?
Nope. High in the basement. Fruit cups.
dont get mad but guess who just got banned for life from dodger stadium
my whole body is tingling just thinking about the orgasm hes going to give me
Needing to keep one leg on the floor during sex so you dont spin should qualify for some kind of drunk award.
took adderall before wrapping presents, ended up making paper snowflakes for two hours
One small step for man, one big gay fierce leap for gays!
How was the picnic?
We played softball, except our team sucked. In one hand was a mitt, the other a beer.
Why didn't you put them down?
No beer left behind.
Just used an eyelash curler to open my beer since I didn't have a bottle opener. Things are starting to look up.
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
Why do I feel like I need to drink to feel better about the things I do when I'm drunk
Hold me and let me compliment your butt
If he refers to me as slump buster one more fucking time.
We just started our own DARE program: Drugs are really enjoyable.
Randomize
