what do you think about when you wanna get rid of a boner?
dying kittens.
She's echoing.. Her head must be in the toilet..
Makers Mark. Chicken nuggets in a blender. Smart
Gold rum. Strong marijuana. Jabba the Hut in stilettos. Deep thigh bruise. Yes, thal all happened. Sorry dude.
Not sorry that my walk of shame this morning was barefoot on my scooter.
I told you all we needed steroids to survive the tour de franzia, like the bikers. But nobody listened...
PLEASE DON'T BE HEARTLESS COME AND GET ME FROM THE BAR I'M HIGH AS SHIT AND I LOST MY SHOES
Is it weird that I Facebook creep hot people from their credit card receipts?
Being single for so long makes me fucking creepy.
I felt so bad but my urge to be with you & drunkenly eat your face was apparently much stronger.
Dude it's SB. It's a proven fact that all you need to survive on is beer, weed, chips and maybe some amphetamines
Mom called last night while I was at the bar and asked where I was. I told her I was on the highway to the danger zone while the guys were humming the top gun theme.
YOU BETTER NOT BE SHAVING YOUR LEGS RIGHT NOW IM TRYING TO HELP YOU
I have a bunch of bug bites on my ass... This is why you don't have sex against a tree in the woods
We played 2 very competitive games of Jenga and then fucked our brains out... BEST. RELATIONSHIP. EVER.
Like he legitimately was standing straight up, feet on the roof, not holding on to a moving car.
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