Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
Just found my girlfriend's stash of animated Japanese porn
And to think, I actually considered breaking up with her
you're out of your mind
you look like daphne blake and he looks like fozzie bear
it's like he rubbed a lamp and wished you into existence
i don't remember but I assumed it was bad when I woke up with directions from his house to mine already pulled up on my phone
I'm drinking rum and coke straight from the 2 liter bottle.
SEE! I KNEW I HAD A LONG-TERM REASON FOR BEING A SLUT!
The entire defensive line took care if me when I passed out. One of them even held my hair when I puked and the other carried me upstairs to bed. God I love football so much more now
Just to prove a point, she called and ordered a pizza 10 min before she ordered the blow and it still got here first. I may never leave LA.
I told you!!! And that is why he's the drug dealer to the stars.
Pretty sure i brought my phone charger to a booty call
Captain Morgan does not know self control. Nor does he teach it.
I'M GOING TO FUCK AN ENTIRE ORCHESTRA AND NOTHING CAN STOP ME
The band club does not count as an orchestra
Nothing makes me prouder to be liberal and socialist than the idea of desecrating the memory of Ronald Reagan
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon
The party bus is stocked with 5 hour energies and beer and someone handing out adderall. Best. Wedding. Ever.
So the makeout sesh? Not so great. His stubble rubbed my face raw, he tried to push me towards auto-erotic asphyxiation, and he licked my forehead. Twice.
Randomize
