Stars make me really horny. Especially that shiny one its just staring at me.
Dude, Erin Andrews has a nude video circulating the internet.
Is it any good?
Let me put it this way: I bet Stuart Scott's lazy eye went straight after watching that.
Sorry for talking about super scientific shit so much last night, I know it bugs you sometimes when I don't shut up.
What? You sat on the couch for a solid 2 hours staring at your fingerprints and the only word that came out of your mouth was "how"
Woke up on the floor with my glow stick in one hand & dollar bills in the other. Good. Morning.
Just bought a 17 year old 40's while wearing a poncho. This behavior is acceptable until I'm 25.
the condom is still stuck, that's what I get for being responsible
Im still alive. Just can't talk. Or move. No need to worry
It feels like I'm breathing out my heart and it spreads through my limbs to my fingertips.
I asked if he wants to help me spring forward at 2am on Sunday. He seems down.
nothing like walking in the house at 3 am in my panties and a sheer shirt carrying a life sized cardboard dale earnhardt jr
Told her my spirit animal was the spread eagle. Now that's my name in her phone.
The only alcohol at my aunts was mikes hard so I drank 9 of them and puked in the master bath
My walk of shame is starting to become positively reinforcing; I stop by Starbucks and when I leave I look someone just heading to work.
Why can I remember how tall Nicki Minaj is from looking up her height once months ago, yet after weeks into the semester I can't even remember where any my classrooms are located
Importance
so at target i bought condoms, on sale undies, pasta roni, and martini mix. the old lady who rang me up asked "honey are you a freshman?" yea lady i am, thanks.
Randomize
