It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
I never want a future conversation of ours to include the words "quart of semen" in it
It's not called being bisexual its called making out with anyone that has a mouth
I just fucked a rockette. This would have been amazing a week ago.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And when we woke up we made beer pancakes. Great start to a family picture day.
Nobody is stopping the marines from drinking in class on veterans day. They literally brought a cooler with a bottle of whiskey and vodka on ice. And are passing out red cups to anyone interested. Staying in Vegas for college has officialy become an A+ decision
Definitely just realized I wore a shirt that says "building leaders for Christ" to a hookup. Roll tide.
Benefits of having to stay in jail for the weekend: learned how to make my own make up out of colored pencils. Also how to make use of toothpaste for hair products. Downfall was probably getting hit on by a murderer. Only me.
I just had some kinky fun in the back seat of my car behind a Ralph's in south county. How's your thanksgiving eve?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He said he discovered the mysteries of the universe inside an orange... I want whatever he was on.
Fuck baseball, getting drunk and playing with kittens is the REAL national pasttime
I think the pizza delivery guy is getting a handjob next door.
Well I'm sorry I assumed you were a human and that humans have the capability to forget sometimes.
I think I just saw my socks in the parking lot.. gonna keep walking
Apparently i disappeared and no one found me until the morning , but i have fifty missed calls
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