Your mouth is God's brothel.
i'm listening to "transmissions" by The Tea Party from like '97 and waxing my legs. fuck i'm awesome in my alone time
so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem
I probably shouldn't have followed up that rainbow sherbet with beef jerky. This is a whole new level of fat, even for me.
this morning your mother said to me "sorry to have to meet you like this, in my sons bed" later she said "you never know whos gonna be in there. its scary sometimes"
He just ordered a bottle of Beam at an Italian place for us to share.
that trick or treat candy bucket that we used to collect beer money last night was very helpful when I vomited in it this morning
The birthday girl is bringing her own barf bucket, it is going to be a good weekend.
There's always a certain something about a day that begins with your panties in your purse.
Just to an Octoberfest and a sex party. Nothing wild.
I brought him flowers on my way home from cheating on him. Boyfriend of the year award right here.
Don't do shots out of Tostitos scoops.
It's funny when you can't take a fishing boat because you fucked the captains wife
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