She laid down on my bed and played "I want you to want me" on my laptop. subtle.
The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
He wasn't there when I woke up so I left him a heart shaped line before I left.
I locked the porch door but I left a spare key on top of the keg on the side of the house
You may or may not have poured bacon fat down her shirt
I only want to make out with him. Unless I get hungry. In that case I will take him home and screw him as a distraction from eating.
WHY ARE THERE NO BLACK EMOJIS? I CAN NEVER PROPERLY IDENTIFY MYSELF.
May 25th. Drunk Laser Tag party to celebrate our bdays. May 26th. Mushrooms at Chattanooga Aquarium. Damn
When you and that girl went into the bedroom, you yelled "FOR NARNIA!"
DISHONOR ON YOU. DISHONOR ON YO FAMILY. DISHONOR ON YO COW
The only thing that got me through this hellish day was imagining a large Swedish penis inside of me.
What did your vagina DO during the nhl lockout?!
Americans.
What has my life come to that I have to spank someone in morse code?
You had sex with a guy who has a purple beard last night. No Molly for a while, ok?
My friend Julia's mom just called her to say she got a puzzle in the mail made of cheese and when she put it together it spelled FUCK YOU and she doesn't know who it's from.
I'm not saying I'm planning to hook up tomorrow but I'm also not saying I'm unprepared for it
Randomize
